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Taking nudes is an art. Heres how to create a masterpiece.

2023-03-26 06:59:24 author:dointy.com
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Taking nudes is an art. Heres how to create a masterpiece.

When YouTuber and content creator Maddie Dragsbaek(Opens in a new tab) first started taking nudes, she thought she had to contort her body into being the "most sexy" for whomever was going to see them.

Taking nudes is an art. Heres how to create a masterpiece.(图1)

That changed when she wanted to mimic women in Renaissance paintings. It started by capturing a nude in a mirror as she lounged like the Venus of Urbino(Opens in a new tab) and other reclining art figures(Opens in a new tab).

"Then it spiraled into...how else can I get creative with this?" Dragsbaek said.

While bathroom dick pics and the like make us think otherwise, nude-taking can be an art — and a self-love practice. Here's how to create your masterpiece.

Reframe your mindset, reframe your nudes

The right mindset — about your body and photos of it — is crucial for good nudes.

Dragsbaek now sees nude-taking as a creative expression and a way to have fun. No longer solely about being sexy, nude-taking is now a way to connect with herself and celebrate her body.

Adult content creator and BDSM model Zoey Sterling (@etherealzoey(Opens in a new tab)) said she focuses on the self when taking nudes, as well. "Think of it less as 'who am I taking it for,'" she said, "and more so as 'I'm taking this for me.'"

Writer and photographer Haley Jakobson(Opens in a new tab) recommends starting with a mindset of nudes being a skillset, something to learn and get better at over time. It's not about being photogenic.

"Photogenic is a made-up word," said Jakobson, who previously ran a photography business.

When she used to take nude and partially nude photos of her clients, Jakobson would have them breathe and move, not freeze as many of us are taught for photos. "Photos are meant to capture us living and breathing and in-motion because we're animals," she said, "and that's what we do."

After her shoots, she'd send her clients hundreds of photos; she wouldn't delete any "awkward" ones. She wanted them to look through them all and see ones they loved alongside the ones they deemed horrible. Homing in on one "bad" photo — which captures a millisecond of your life — and discarding the others is a toxic mindset, said Jakobson.

"Photogenic is a made-up word."

"You do yourself a great disservice by not clicking to the next photo and seeing something you really love," she said.

Negative thoughts about how you look may be present when you take nudes, said Jakobson, and they may not go away. Western ideals of what's sexy or not is ingrained in us — especially if you're socialized as a woman — and that socialization doesn't go away overnight.

But you can still take nudes even with that mind chatter; in fact, nudes can combat it.

"The biggest 'fuck you' to the chatter that you could do is say, 'I might look at this photo and feel a lot of [body] dysmorphia, but I still want this photo...Maybe in a week I can look at it and be like, I'm really glad I took it,'" said Jackobson.

Are you in the mood?

Sometimes, you're sexting someone when you've already washed your face and tucked yourself into bed with no reason to take off your PJs. Then, bam: the "send nudes" text.

There's no need to take photos when you're not feeling it, even if someone asks. Instead, take them when you're in the mood, and safely store your nudes for when that text pops up.

Sterling said it helps if she's in a provocative mood to start with, but she always does a couple test shots to warm up before a session.

Dragsbaek, who has a nude-taking series(Opens in a new tab) on her YouTube channel, is more inclined to take nudes after she buys a new set of lingerie or another item that makes her feel excited to take them.

Jakobson suggested focusing on your environment. Get comfortable, put on some good music, even take a bath with all your favorite products beforehand.

Before you whip your iPhone out, though, establish your personal boundaries. Do you only want to show yourself from the waist up? Do you want your face to be cut off? Clarify those limits for yourself, Dragsbaek said. If someone asks for a photo of a body part you're not comfortable sharing, don't force yourself.

"Block anyone who doesn't appreciate them," said Sterling of your nudes. "Protect your peace."

The logistics of a great nude

There are various elements that go into a photo, including lighting and accessories — and what you're actually shooting on.

If you want that bright natural light, shoot in the afternoon. If you want soft and warm natural light, take photos during golden hour (right after sunrise or before sunset).

You can use artificial lighting like from a ring light or box light too, but it'll be a bit harsher — and be more of a production for you. If you want to play with artificial light, try a smart light bulb(Opens in a new tab) and experiment with different colors. When chatting virtual sex with Mashable, sex educator Kenneth Play recommended red lighting as it looks good on camera and on different skin tones.

Then there's the equipment. A smartphone is more than good enough to take nudes, but other cameras can be part of the session too, if you have access to them. Dragsbaek likes to try out different cameras, such as her camcorder or her Macbook's webcam.

Taking nudes on a film camera will likely result in shots with a vintage-looking glow — if you can wait long enough for them to be developed. Though, there are apps like Huji(Opens in a new tab) that can fake the look on iPhone photos too.

If taking photos by yourself, utilize the self-timer. The iPhone camera app has that capability, but there's also the influencer-approved app Lens Buddy(Opens in a new tab) with a customizable timer. You can also pick up an inexpensive mini tripod if you don't have a stable surface to place your phone on.

Jakobson recommends taking as many self-timed shots as possible, or taking a video and screenshotting your favorite moments, especially if you're a beginner.

You don't need to focus on the technical aspects like lenses or lighting, either.

Focus on how you feel, instead. Jakobson typically shot in front of a plain backdrop, but nudes can be taken anywhere you feel comfortable: your bed, elsewhere in your room, the shower, in the bath, or — as Sterling suggested — you can capture a "wild and adventurous" shot on a nude beach or in nature.

Zoey also mentioned accessories. Decide if you want to wear jewelry or lingerie, or if you want fabrics in your shot like your comforter. If you want to be not-quite-nude but still revealing, Dragsbaek mentioned wearing a wet T-shirt.

Taking the shots

What's your favorite asset? What do you want the photos to focus on? Pick something as a warm-up or teaser, said Sterling. There's no need to show your whole body if you don't want to.

If you do want to pose full-body, however, Jakobson had some suggestions. You can play with moving your arms over your head, or angling your body in different ways (such as popping your butt out), and tilting your head back.

Or, if you're someone with breasts, you can splay yourself out on your knees and hold your bust. Swaying your hair from side to side can make you feel sexy, and also result in some good shots.

When Jakobson shot masculine people, she focused on aspects like one's shoulders. She also found that masc people liked to touch their bellies, which she said always turned out sexy.

This is all experimentation and learning how you like your body to look in photos.

"You can't know what angle is going to look right for you, until you try it out yourself," said Jakobson. "You really need to give yourself an afternoon when the light is shining in your room and just put your camera on every different surface."

Keep breathing and keep moving — that's how Jakobson would take nudes of others. She would constantly tell clients to breathe before every pose, every click. "That is what gets people the best results," she said.

Nudes as a self-love practice

You may not take nudes you love right away, but that's OK. Get to know how you look while you're naked and in motion. It will be jarring if you're not used to taking photos of yourself, Jackobson said, and it takes time to get comfortable. The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll become.

Nudes are less about what's in the photo and more about how the photo makes you feel, said Sterling. The photos are for you first, even if you send them to someone else.

"This body is for me and I'm trying to celebrate that."

Dragsbaek's number one nude tip is to throw out the idea that your body needs to look a certain way in order to be sexy. Let your body exist as it is. You can tell yourself, "I am allowed to exist right here as I am in this body," she said. "I am not for anybody else. This body is for me and I'm trying to celebrate that."

See Also: Which dating app should you use? This guide can help you figure it out.

"Even if you're not at a place where you can look back at those photographs and consume yourself in that way," Dragsbaek continued, "going through the motions of taking them and allowing yourself to just be is really powerful."

There may be photos of yourself that make you cringe, or days where you don't feel sexy at all. But it's all a process — and, over time, you'll definitely take shots you find sexy.

While taking nudes is part of her job, Sterling takes nudes for herself because they make her feel confident, attractive, and sexy.

"Smile at yourself while taking them, laugh at yourself, be sultry with yourself," she said. "I am who I am because of how comfortable I am with being fully human. Being nude is to be human."

Related video: Moment lenses take phone photography to the next level (if you put in the practice)

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    Maude's vibrators(Opens in a new tab) might look unassuming — but that's kind of the point.

    (图1)

    The simple, elegant minimalism of their sex toys is a huge part of why the original Vibe vibrator (Opens in a new tab)became such an instant classic. Beloved by beginners, it still regularly sells out(Opens in a new tab) and even won our top spot for the best overall affordable vibrator under $50.

    Now there's the Drop(Opens in a new tab), a brand new release from Maude available for pre-order and launching in April.(Opens in a new tab) We tested the egg-shaped palm vibrator, and are delighted to report that the newcumer is just as worthy of buzz (winkwink) as the cult-favorite original Vibe before it.

    The wellness brand, which also sells bath and body products, is doubling down on sexual health since recently partnering with (Opens in a new tab)Fifty Shades of Grey(Opens in a new tab) star Dakota Johnson(Opens in a new tab). While other sex toy companies trade in gaudy packaging and salacious over-sensationalization, Maude instead insists on treating pleasure devices as no different than any other type of physical or mental self-care. The affordability of its sex toys even calls bullshit on the classism you typically get with luxury wellness brands, which talk big game about self-care being "for everyone" while charging obscene prices only the few can pay for.

    But Maude's budget-friendliness never comes at the cost of bespoke, high-quality beauty.

    Keeping in line with the Vibe, the Drop looks like an object ripped straight out of the MoMA's gift shop — like modern art for your pussy. Here, though, the minimalist art style has practical utility, too.

    The Drop's User-Friendly Design

    The single-button design, which cycles through three intensity settings, streamlines the usually overwhelming bells and whistles of your standard sex toy design. Instead of an intimidating number of unnecessary vibration patterns or button layouts, Maude focuses only on the essentials, with the unbeatable user-friendliness that makes a toy great for novices. It's also waterproof, able to be put into travel lock mode, and made of body-safe and ultra-soft silicone. Plus, it comes in a cute canvas pouch for sanitary storage.

    The Drop looks like an object ripped straight out of the MoMA's gift shop — like modern art for your pussy.

    All that being said, in my subjective opinion, the Drop's egg-like shape does look a bit less artful than the abstractness of the Vibe. On the other hand, it makes up for it with about double the power, which matters more to me in a sex toy than appearances. On the other other hand, the trade-off for more power is twice as much noise — though the Drop is still quite low on the spectrum of noisiness among the dozens of toys I've tested.

    Essentially, The Drop is what you'd get if you squashed the Vibe down into a beauty blender shape.

    Meant to similarly fit in the palm of your hand, the bulbous shape not only allows for stronger motors but also covers a larger surface area than the Vibe's fluttery, pinpoint stimulation. Both have near-identical tip shapes, though. So you have the option to use the Drop's sides for that dispersed sensation, while the top of it offers a more powerful version of the Vibe's concentrated pinpoint pleasure.

    Which Vibrator Is Better? Drop vs. Vibe

    Determining which toy is better really comes down to personal preference — but the Drop has my vote. What the two vibrators do share in common is a nice medium between "buzzy" versus "rumbly" vibration types, which (again) makes them ideal for folks who aren't sure which they like.

    For comparison, the Drop versus the Vibe Credit: maude

    Foregoing the fluttery tip of the Vibe does make the Drop a bit better suited for some light, external ("external" being a keyword here) backdoor teasing (but, general health tip: never put anything up your vagina after it's been near your ass, unless you thoroughly clean it first). Both are versatile enough for nipple play, too.

    It's also hard to say with any objectivity which vibrator fits better in your hand. Some love the low-profile of palm vibrators like the Drop. Others (like me) have freakishly small and weak baby hands that can't grip anything comfortably for too long, not even a large egg-shaped item.

    The Drop's marketing sells it on resembling the "head of a wand vibrator." While it is significantly more powerful than Maude's other offering, any resemblance to the notorious rub-your-clit-off horsepower of a wand vibrator is in appearance only. If you're looking for the raw potency of a wand at the same price point, though, we suggest Sweet Vibes' Charmed(Opens in a new tab) instead.

    What makes Maude's vibrators such clear winners in the entry-level vibrator category is that your pussy deserves nothing less than a museum-gallery design with drugstore practicality.

    The inviting branding of a wellness brand isn't just for show when it comes to vibrators, either, because one of the biggest things that holds folks back from trying sex toys in the first place is stigma and shame. The typically misogynistic, male gaze-y marketing that dominates the sex toy industry perpetuates this notion that women's sexuality as some sort of super naughty kink. But it isn't. Vaginal pleasure isn't just a normal thing, it's also natural and beautiful.

    Add to Cart?

    The Drop, like the Vibe, is like an organic fragrance-free body lotion that stands out from a sea of Victoria Secret Pink Mango Blast body glow paints (or whatever). It won't overpower your senses — but it will nourish you with every touch instead.

    Related Video: 5 ways to safely clean your sex toys

  • The number of teens eating Tide Pods is skyrocketing

    The number of teens eating Tide Pods is skyrocketing

    (图1)

    Brace yourselves: there has been an embarrassing uptick in the number of teens eating Tide Pods.

    With a "HIGH ALERT," the American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) shared an urgent press release(opens in a new tab) on the current state of Tide Pod consumption in the United States.

    SEE ALSO: Some genius made Tide Pod sushi you can actually eat

    "Last week, AAPCC reported that during the first two weeks of 2018, the country’s poison control centers handled thirty-nine intentional exposures cases among thirteen to nineteen year olds," the report read.

    That number didn't last long, however. "That number has increased to eighty-six such intentional cases among the same age demographic during the first three weeks of 2018."

    TEENS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

    "We cannot stress enough how dangerous this is to the health of individuals—it can lead to seizure, pulmonary edema, respiratory arrest, coma, and even death," Stephen Kaminski, AAPCC’s CEO and Executive Director, wrote.

    (图2)

    Once again, this is not a joke. Do not eat the Tide pods.

    This increase comes on the heels of massive efforts from Proctor & Gamble, the producer of Tide Pods, to slow the roll of this horrible trend. They've partnered with YouTube to remove videos of kids eating Tide Pods, and Amazon(opens in a new tab) has removed those commenting online about how delicious the forbidden fruit is. Additionally, P&G released a statement to warn consumers and hired New England Patriots' Rob Gronkowski to spread the word.

    If you still feel the urge to eat one, or know someone who is going through an unfortunate Tide Pod phase themselves, take a note from AAPCC's statement(opens in a new tab) and call Poison Help hotline at 1-800-222-1222 or text Poison to 797979.

  • Olympic Austrian skier dramatically crashes into cameraman

    Olympic Austrian skier dramatically crashes into cameraman

    (图1)

    The Olympics are all fun and games, until someone suffers an intense crash.

    In this case, Austrian alpine ski races Matthias Mayer fell during the men's alpine combined, running over a cameraman in the process.

    Reddit(opens in a new tab)

    Some people enjoy watching the crashes, because they are reminded of the fact that no one, not even an Olympic athlete, is perfect.

    But in this case, I just hope he's OK.

    (图2)

  • Finally, theres a girlfriend simulator that can also file your taxes

    Finally, theres a girlfriend simulator that can also file your taxes

    This tax season, fall for MSCHF's dating sim, not tax scams.

    (图1)

    On Monday, MSCHF launched a free anime dating game for doing your taxes. From the cheeky creator behind the Big Red Boots, Tax Heaven 3000 is a real, working game that enlists a dating sim named Iris to help you prepare your federal income taxes. "Hi there! Iris here," she says on the taxheaven3000.com(Opens in a new tab) website. "It’s always been a dream of mine to meet that special someone…and file their tax return. Join me and we’ll search for deductions while searching for love!"

    SEE ALSO: A free way to file your taxes (that is actually free)
    Iris wants to find that special someone and file their tax return. Credit: MSCHF

    Predatory tax filing services are the latest target of MSCHF, an art collective known for creating viral products that offer provocative commentary on late-stage capitalism, fandom, and hype-driven consumer culture. The company has generated media attention for its "Satan Shoes(Opens in a new tab)," custom Nike Air Max sneakers made in collaboration with Lil Nas X that contained a drop of blood, "Eat the Rich Popsicles,(Opens in a new tab)" and "Ketchup or Makeup(Opens in a new tab)," packets that either contained ketchup or lip gloss. Now, MSCHF is calling out companies like TurboTax and H&R Block for taking advantage of confused taxpayers.

    If you made less than $73,000, it is free(Opens in a new tab) to file your taxes in the U.S. But a ProPublica investigation revealed how tax-filing company TurboTax deliberately(Opens in a new tab) confuses and misleads customers into paying for their services. TurboTax also lobbies heavily(Opens in a new tab) to keep these using these deceptive tactics. As we enter the dreaded tax season, Tax Heaven 3000 is here to remind you that filing your taxes can be free...and sexy.

    You can actually prepare your tax filing within the game. Credit: MSCHF

    "TurboTax, per its own internal documents, is built on the 'Fear Uncertainty and Doubt' that ordinary people have about their taxes," says the website. "Against this we pit free software instead built on parasocial desire for intimacy and benign horniness! If TurboTax is Dark UI, TH3K is Pink UI, the nightcore of tax software."

    Tax Heaven 3000 was leaked on Steam last week and subsequently taken down from the popular gaming platform. But Daniel Greenberg, co-founder of MSCHF, said it is now available via itch.io(Opens in a new tab). You can also buy a collector's edition of the game on the Tax Heaven 3000 website for $90. The purchase includes a physical collector's box with a CD of the game, an instruction manual, an IRS mailing envelope, and an Iris body pillow (otherwise known as a dakimakura).

    Snuggling up to Iris seems like a better investment of your money than paying for service that is technically free. At least she won't break your heart like the IRS.

  • A restaurant called Pho Keene Great hasnt exactly thrilled authorities

    A restaurant called Pho Keene Great hasnt exactly thrilled authorities

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    Throwing a pun into your restaurant name is a time-honoured tradition.

    But one French-Vietnamese establishment in Keene, New Hampshire, has irked authorities who think its name has stepped over the line.

    SEE ALSO: An 18-inch pizza has more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas, and people are losing it

    The soon-to-open Pho Keene Great (pho is meant to be pronounced "fuh") is in hot water with City Hall, who wanted the restaurant's temporary sign -- featuring its name -- taken down.

    As per the Associated Press(opens in a new tab), city manager Elizabeth Dragon said the restaurant's name was intentionally meant to sound profane.

    (图2)

    The space Pho Keene Great has leased is in the same building as City Hall, and the restaurant needed to get permission from the city to put any signs up, which it didn't.

    "It's just that we have to strike a balance because it is a public building," Dragon told New Hampshire Public Radio(opens in a new tab).

    The restaurant's owner, Isabelle Jolie, explained in a statement online(opens in a new tab) that yes, the name is a double entendre.

    "We wanted it to be all the things that a business would need to engage its audience: catchy, memorable, creative, fun and to make it a conversation piece about Vietnam’s most famous comfort food, pho," the statement reads.

    For now, Jolie has taken down the temporary sign. Pho Keene Great is still set to open on Mar. 1, however, and the restaurant is still aiming to have a permanent outdoor sign installed, if city authorities end up being OK with it.

    "We do not have any plans on changing our business name. We have spent many thousands of dollars investing in this venture because we believed in every aspect of our concept and that includes the branding and marketing of our business name," the statement added.

    (图3)

    It'd certainly be a Pho Keene shame if the city got its way.

  • Would you take your fitness classes through this $1,495 smart mirror?

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    Would you take your fitness classes through this $1,495 smart mirror?

    Boutique fitness classes may be on the rise, but working out from the comfort of your home has always had its positives.

    For the new wave of in-home workouts, there's Mirror(opens in a new tab). It's an actual mirror you can use for your morning routine, but with high-powered tech built inside. The panel itself is a liquid crystal display (LCD), with stereo speakers, a camera, and some custom software powered by a quad-core processor. Bluetooth and WiFi allow you to connect with monitoring devices and stream the classes from Mirror. As for the classes, there's cardio, yoga, strength, barre, boxing, stretch, and pilates, with various levels of each.

    The connected screen will run you $1,495, and the classes are an additional $39 a month. The mirror is 52 inches tall and can be wall mounted or can sit on a metal stand.

    SEE ALSO: Fitbit's new Charge 3 fitness tracker lasts up to 7 days on a single charge

    Mirror is controlled by an iOS companion app; there's no word if Android support is arriving.

    As with most fitness classes, you can set up a profile and get some personal recommendations. For instance, I had back surgery, which means my muscles often get sore. If I plug that in it will recommend the right classes for me to take -- ranging from the type of activity to the level (beginner to expert). Since the classes are live, you can also get feedback from the instructors.

    Mirror handles the vetting of the instructors on its platform as well as the streaming of them (internet required). You'll be able to see the instructor on the Mirror, along with other metrics. There will be over 50 classes a week in the beginning, plus a library of on-demand classes at any time. These pre-recorded classes will let you see the instructor as well.

    Credit: mirror

    One-on-one training sessions will arrive in the future, according to Mirror, at what will probably at an added cost.

    If you're feeling weirded out about some of this, know that Mirror includes a lens cap for the camera in the box, plus the device itself can be turned off. Whew.

    The Mirror is essentially a giant vertical video, so users would have to line up behind each other to work out together — kind of like being stuck at the back of the class in the world's thinnest gym room. CEO Brynn Putnam says it isn't designed to be a multi-user experience, but that the company might look at other solutions down the line.

    Mirror will allow you to sync an Apple Watch or other Bluetooth fitness monitors, although it's currently unclear precisely what accessories will work. The company is including a heart rate monitor with the purchase of $1,495 price and additional ones cost $49.95.

    For now, Mirror is undoubtedly increasing competition for Peloton and other on-demand in-home fitness services. But at $1,495 it's not cheap, especially when you factor in the required $39 a month subscription fee. Mirror also includes a metal stand and starter kit (fitness bands and a heart rate monitor) with the purchase.

    Comparatively, Peloton charges $2,245 for their basics bike, which offers 24-hour access to their studio cycling classes.

    Mirror provides more workouts and uses than does a connected stationary bicycle — but you won't get cycling classes on it, so it depends on your workout preference. And, in comparison to Mirror's $39 a month membership, the average cost of one pilates class in the NYC region is around $30, depending on the studio.

    As an alternative, there are a trove of fitness videos and sometimes even live streams available for free on YouTube.

    We'll be spending more time with Mirror soon, but interested customers can order one now direct from the company.

    Additional reporting by Chris Taylor

  • Love Guy Fieri? Follow his new Flavortown meme accounts.

    Love Guy Fieri? Follow his new Flavortown meme accounts.

    Guy Fieri is a man of many talents, and one of those talents is his ability to post some of the best memes online.

    (图1)

    For years, Fieri has been using his social media accounts to make fans of Flavortown and the Food Network laugh. With help from his team (known as Knuckle Sandwich) and his sons, Hunter and Ryder, Guy cranks out hilarious, timely, and trendy memes that perfectly embody his personal brand.

    We're huge fans of Guy's memes at Mashable, which is why we were thrilled to learn that the celebrity chef created new Twitter (@flavortown(Opens in a new tab)) and Instagram (@flavortownusa(Opens in a new tab)) accounts specifically to post memes and share his merch.

    On Thursday, Fieri announced his new meme accounts by tweeting a Netflix/Fieri crossover meme, along with the words, "Are you still watching 'The Memes of Flavortown'? Up next, @flavortown(Opens in a new tab)."

    The meme features Guy-related parodies of popular television shows like Breaking Bad, Friends, and Fieri's personal favorite, The Office. (It's worth noting that Fieri's Office parody is called The Kitchen, and is described as an American mockumentary sitcom that follows the daily lives of kitchen employees in the "Flavortown branch of Dunder Fieri Food Company." Absolutely amazing.)

    SEE ALSO: Guy Fieri has reached an emotional turning point

    "All this week I'm gonna be randomly slingin' fresh tees to the good Citizens of Flavortown who quote tweet their FAVORITE memes of me to their stories with @flavortown(Opens in a new tab) and @guyfieri(Opens in a new tab)," Fieri wrote. (Note: He likely meant quote tweet to timelines, but when posting memes to Instagram, then "stories" applies.)

    So far, the @flavortown Twitter account has posted some of Fieri's online merch(Opens in a new tab), along with three early, very good memes. And in a personal Instagram story, Fieri announced, "There's a new meme account on the block," and tagged @nocontextguyfieri(Opens in a new tab), @postironicmemevault(Opens in a new tab), @whichguyareyou, and @wheresguyfieri(Opens in a new tab).

    The Flavortown accounts are starting to repost and reply to fans, so if you want to show Guy some love now's the time to do it.

    At the time of writing this post the Flavortown meme Twitter and Instagram account both have about 4,000 followers. We know Guy has more fans than that, so it's time the Flavortown residents start showing up for their mayor.

  • Adorable baby flamingo learning to stand on one leg deserves all our support

    Adorable baby flamingo learning to stand on one leg deserves all our support

    (图1)

    There is one, and only one, thing in this world that is unequivocally true: This baby flamingo deserves everyone's support.

    Flamingos often stand on one leg, a habit researchers think(Opens in a new tab) arose because it allows the birds to expend less muscular energy while they're stationary. So it's important that young flamingos learn to do this at an early age, and it's even more important that we cheer for this very soft-looking flamingo chick as it practices.

    SEE ALSO: Audubon Society announces 2019 bird photography award winners

    (图2)

    You can clap, you can scream, you can shout "good hustle" like an overbearing parent at a seventh grade B-team volleyball game. Just do something.

    We are sure the flamingo community will appreciate it.

  • The best gifts for your friend who just landed a new job

    The best gifts for your friend who just landed a new job

    (图1)

    By gum, they did it! They got the job!

    Your ol' pal's gone and landed themselves a brand new employment situation, and you're the kind of friend who'll celebrate their successes with a little something.

    But what do you get someone who's just landed their dream job, or any job, for that matter. Whether your friend's just started in an office, workshop, classroom or other space, these little gifts will help them start the new gig on the right foot.

    New socks(opens in a new tab)

    These 'Multi Player' socks would be a damn fine present. Credit: sock it to me

    There's nothing like walking into your first day of a new job in a sensational jaw-dropper of an outfit. It might be nice to pick out a crisp new shirt for your giftee, but it's probably better to let them choose their own new signature look. Gift cards can often feel a bit tacky, but if you keep the fee modest, say $30, it's a nice little leg-up.

    But the best bet? A new pair of socks. Everyone needs socks, for any job, unless you're a yoga teacher, lifeguard, or swimming instructor. Even then, you need socks. Try Happy Socks(opens in a new tab), Sock It to Me(opens in a new tab), or Stance(opens in a new tab) — heck, here's a few more suggestions.

    Price: From $10(opens in a new tab)

    A laptop case(opens in a new tab)

    Nobody needs a boring laptop case. Credit: yevu

    (图2)

    Has your friend just landed a job that requires a laptop? Why not snap up a new laptop case for them? Socially responsible label YEVU, which creates jobs and sustainable income for women in Ghana, does some really bright and bold designs, that aren't your standard black or grey neoprene go-to.

    Price: $40(opens in a new tab)

    A desk plant(opens in a new tab)

    Show you care (or not) with Little Pricks. Credit: little succers

    Having more plants in your life can absorb airborne pollutants and improve your air quality, which can in turn affect your general wellbeing. NASA knows it(opens in a new tab), we all know it. So what better way to set your friend up in their new workspace than with a little desk plant? You can pick out your own plant at your local nursery or garden store, or if you're lucky enough to live in a city with a plant delivery startup, like New York City's The Sill(opens in a new tab), or Sydney's Little Succers(opens in a new tab) (who also deliver succulents or Little Pricks), it's as easy as a few clicks.

    Price: From $29.50(opens in a new tab)

    A damn good water bottle

    Everyone needs a good water bottle Credit: dopper

    We all know someone (or are someone) who refuses to reach their daily H2O quota, and workplaces can be distracting, so keeping on top of this is hard. So, whether it's a slick new water bottle, carafe, or smart device, this gift can help your friend get hydrated. Here's a longer list of hydration devices to pick from — we went deep.

    If it’s Dutch ingenuity you’re after, Dopper’s a solid bet. Each 500 ml Dopper bottle is double-wall insulated, so can keep your drink hot for nine hours (that's a work day) and cold for 24 hours, and has three parts to it, including a cup — a cup! Perfect for both workplaces that involve desks and those that don't.

    (图3)

    Price: $15–$40(opens in a new tab)

    A strong backpack(opens in a new tab)

    Everyone needs a strong backpack. Credit: rains

    Regardless of your industry, a strong backpack is a must-have for modern workers. You're probably looking at a few necessities: laptop pouch, waterproof fabric, multiple compartments. So, the classic backpack by RAINS is a pretty solid bet. It's got that slick matte finish, minimalist design, spacious compartment with little hidden pockets, including one for your phone. It's not a cheap present, but one that will last.

    Price: $92(opens in a new tab)

    Get your newly employed friend one of these and those first few days of job jitters may feel a little less awkward.

  • Mike Huckabee mocked the Russia investigation and Michael Jacksons death in a tweet about his colono

    (图1)

    Mike Huckabee mocked the Russia investigation and Michael Jacksons death in a tweet about his colonoscopy

    Sentient moldy marshmallow Mike Huckabee is one of the worst things about Twitter, a free website where bots and angry men yell at each other for hours on end.

    Yet he still manages to find new depths.

    SEE ALSO: Twitter comedian Mike Huckabee burns CNN with 100% flawless joke

    Such was the case on Tuesday when, in an attempt at what I assume is humor, the former Arkansas governor and shitty Skynyrd cover band musician(opens in a new tab) managed to type and send the following tweet.

    I have read this no less than 20 times and still don't get it.

    So why don't we take a step back, slow things down, and break it down, piece by piece.

    "Had a colonoscopy today."

    On the one hand, this is good. Preventative health care(opens in a new tab) is an important part of anyone's regiment, especially in later years.

    On the other hand, a colonoscopy includes the insertion of a camera through one's anus to examine the lower bowels for irregularities, including signs of cancer, so, GTFO WITH THIS, MIKE, I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THIS IMAGE IN MY HEAD BECAUSE NO AMOUNT OF CHLORINE POURED INTO MY SKULL WILL REMOVE IT.

    "My doctor was actually Russian."

    It's true, sometimes people born in Russia are doct- oh, wait. Oh no. He's going to make a joke about the Russian investigation, isn't he? Oh no. Oh no no no.

    Via Giphy(opens in a new tab)

    "Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!"

    Now THAT is what I call a DAD JOKE that should be taken behind the barn, doused in kerosene, lit on fire, and shot in to space. And for the love of all that is good and pure, this is not the imagery to double-down on. It's just gross and makes me want to walk through fire just to burn everything else away.

    Via Giphy(opens in a new tab)

    And what does your Russian doctor think of this? Does he find this funny? Is he Yakov Smirnoff(opens in a new tab)? Does he find your belittling of the job he's paid to do HILARIOUS?

    Besides, there's nothing as funny as talking about potentially(opens in a new tab) treasonous(opens in a new tab) behavior and the hijacking(opens in a new tab) of one of our most sacred democratic institutions -- a free and open election -- and reducing it to "YUK YUK OMG BUTTS."

    Grow up.

    "They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used."

    First of all, it's "Jackson."

    Second of all, did he... Dear, God, did he just mock the drug use that led(opens in a new tab) to the death of the KING OF POP?

    Say what you will about Jackson's complicated legacy but to mock this sort of drug abuse, particularly when the country is in the throes of an opioid epidemic, and to mock the death of ANYONE, let alone one of the most beloved pop figures of all time (complicated legacy or no), is heinous.

    "When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!"

    Oh my God just... what? Why?!

    So we have a Jackson pun paired with another "LOL HEH HEH BUTTS" joke for some kind of awful Frankenstein pun. If it weren't so stupid, it'd be impressive.

    To say "Mike Huckabee mocked the death of Michael Jackson and the Russia investigation in a tweet about his colonoscopy" is a thing in 2018 is to admit that we've already lost this world and don't deserve it anymore. Let's just hand it over to the dogs.

    But before we do, let's take Huckabee's Twitter account, run it through a woodchipper like Steve Buscemi in Fargo, burn all of the pieces and then collect the ashes and shoot them straight into the sun.

    Only then may we rest in peace.