current location： Home > Y4

New and expectant moms are really lonely right now

2023-03-19 06:15:29 author：dointy.com

Views:

"Only leaving the house to get groceries. Nobody outside of my home to talk to or spend time with."

New and expectant moms are really lonely right now(图1)

This is how one anonymous woman responded to the question, "What does loneliness feel like to you?" As part of a survey done by Peanut(Opens in a new tab), a community app for women at different stages of motherhood and menopause, over 4,900 women shared their experiences with loneliness. It's a shred of insight into the difficulty parenting amid the pandemic, compounded by a loneliness epidemic(Opens in a new tab) impacting people overall.

Peanut asked women whether they've ever been so lonely. It's a leading question, but the responses are nonetheless jarring: 73 percent of people trying to conceive say they're lonelier than any other life stage. The numbers aren't much better for women at other stages of parenthood: 70 percent of mothers and 55 percent of pregnant people said the same thing. Furthermore, 78 percent of those in menopause are also the loneliest they've been.

"When my son is busy being a kid, exploring and learning [on] his own, I’m not sure what to do with my own time," said another anonymous woman on what loneliness feels like. "When I’m not being a mom, I don’t know what to do really."

A third woman responded with simply, "Empty."

Loneliness doesn't occur because you're alone, said psychotherapist Laura Greenwood. You can be alone and surrounded by people (or your children!). Loneliness comes from feeling disconnected. "We are all hardwired to connect with others," Greenwood said, "and so feeling disconnected can lead to so many struggles with mental health."

Peanut's friendship expert and author of The Friendship Cure(Opens in a new tab) Kate Leaver told Mashable that in her five years of speaking and writing about loneliness publicly, the group she most often hears from is new mothers. "It’s a uniquely lonely time," she said, "and I always tell them this: first, it’s so, so common so in that sense, you’re not alone."

"It's clear that loneliness truly is a public health crisis affecting women everywhere," said Peanut CEO and founder Michelle Kennedy, who started the app amid her own experience with loneliness after having her first child.

There are no doubt systematic issues(Opens in a new tab) at play here. Many mothers don't receive help with childcare at home for a variety of reasons, one being that domestic labor is seen as "women's work." Outside childcare is unaffordable for many, and they can't afford to take time off work, as the U.S. lacks paid parental leave(Opens in a new tab).

That being said, there are some steps an individual can take to combat loneliness.

Greenwood suggests connecting with yourself, in order to create meaningful connections with others. This may be easier said than done — and might require you to see a mental health professional — but once you accept who you are, it may be easier to be your authentic self with other people.

It can be overwhelming to piece together a social life — or solve a deep sense of existential confusion — when you're sleep deprived, hormonal, and exhausted, said Leaver. So, she advises to start small. "If leaving the house is too much, text your old friends, be active on the mothers' group WhatsApp, send stupid memes to someone who gets you, or join an app like Peanut," she said.

Passive social media scrolling (rather than posting or interacting) can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, Leaver continued, but being active can actually help. Talking to people, joining groups, and interacting on posts can make us feel like we're a part of things, even if you're too tired or overwhelmed to leave the house. Peanut, for example, has forums to talk about a range of topics, from grief of infertility to sex after childbirth.

"Mothers are sort of silently linked by this deeply private but also universal experience of having a child," Leaver said. Know that if you're a lonely mother, that it's not just you, and that thankfully, there are spaces where you can be open about your experience.

Website of this article：https://dointy.com/?m=home&c=View&a=index&aid=65072

Go to Baidu to see more

Comments from netizens

contact us

contacts：dointy.com

Random articles

NEW ARTICLE

Apple Fitness Plus now includes post-childbirth exercise routines
Apple Fitness Plus now includes post-childbirth exercise routines
After giving birth, postpartum exercise is something that should be navigated consciously(Opens in a new tab) and safely. Apple Fitness Plus is stepping in with a new workout program tailored to this period, called 'Get Back to Fitness After Having a Baby'.
Apple Fitness Plus is an service built around the Apple Watch, with an existing range of workout collections(Opens in a new tab). There is already a 'Stay active during pregnancy' collection(Opens in a new tab).
Aimed at helping new parents reconnect with exercise and themselves, the new post-pregnancy collection offered by Apple is hosted by coaches who are mothers, some of whom gave birth just about a year ago.

Get Mashable Deals delivered to your inbox daily

Be the first to know about price drops on Apple products.

By signing up you agree to our Terms of Use(opens in a new tab)(Opens in a new tab) and Privacy Policy(opens in a new tab)(Opens in a new tab).

Thanks for signing up!

SEE ALSO: Can an app help reduce your mental load as a new parent?

The actual coaching takes into consideration their own experiences in tandem with advice from an OB-GYN physician. Some exercises include strength and core, including a few that focus on the pelvic floor. There are also mindful exercises based on stretching, with advice on patience and self-care for new parenthood.
Apple Fitness Plus' new program is suitable for people who have had a C-section or vaginal delivery, offering modifications depending on active levels during pregnancy and how intensely one would like to start exercising again.
The service is priced at $9.99 a month, and can be shared with up to five family members.
What is attachment theory and how does it impact sex and relationships?
What is attachment theory and how does it impact sex and relationships?
Are you secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful?
If you've no idea what I'm talking about, welcome. If you're a serial TikTok(Opens in a new tab) scroller(Opens in a new tab) (and frankly, what else is there to do right now?) then you may well be familiar with the words "attachment style."
During the pandemic, a lot of people have been thinking(Opens in a new tab) about the inner workings of their relationships in an effort to understand tendencies and patterns a little better. Unless you've studied psychology or spent time talking to a therapist, you might not be familiar with something called attachment theory.
So, what exactly is attachment theory? How exactly does an "attachment style" affect our relationships? And why should we care about it?
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory was developed in the '60s by British psychologist and psychiatrist John Bowlby and later expanded on by Canadian-American psychologist Mary Ainsworth.
Bowlby, who pioneered the theory, described(Opens in a new tab) attachment as "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings." Ainsworth, who worked under Bowlby at the start of her career, embarked on her own research into attachment. She noticed distinctions between infants and their caregivers and created three categories of attachment types: secure, insecure, and not-yet attached. Later, Ainsworth identified these attachment types as secure, avoidant, and ambivalent. And subsequent to that, researchers Mary Main, Judith Solomon, and Erik Hesse added a fourth type — disorganised — to refer to infants who had problems coping with stressful situations.
"Attachment theory basically focuses on the relationships and bonds between people, and how early attachment patterns affect long-term adult romantic relationships," explains Şirin Atçeken, psychologist and therapist at healthcare company WeCure(Opens in a new tab). Atçeken told me that our attachment patterns impact how we bond with ourselves, how we live, our work life, plus much more.
"Early attachment patterns affect long-term adult romantic relationships."
According to attachment theory, it's imperative for children's social and emotional development that they form a relationship with at least one primary caregiver, says psychotherapist Neil Wilkie, creator of online therapy platform The Relationship Paradigm(Opens in a new tab). "This attachment normally develops through four stages from about six months up until the age of about three," says Wilkie.
Depending on those early experiences between the child and their caregiver, they will develop one of four attachment styles. These patterns continue into adulthood, affecting an individual's relationships unless that person identifies their attachment style and attempts to address their related responses and ensuing behaviour.
Notably, the terms defining attachment styles have evolved over time, although their definitions have remained relatively constant. Experts today use a mixture of terminology for the four types, as did the people we interviewed for this article. But for the purposes of clarity, we're using the four most widely used terms for attachment styles.
The four attachment styles:
1. Secure
Secure attachment is "where the child is free to explore their surroundings, safely knowing that their caregiver is watching over them, and though will be upset if the care provider leaves, will know that they will return and everything will be OK," says Atçeken.
The securely attached child has a positive view of themselves and others, says Wilkie, adding this happens when their caregiver is emotionally available and responsive.
2. Anxious
Someone who's anxiously attached — also known as anxious-ambivalent — has a negative view of themselves and a positive view of others, explains Wilkie. This comes from having a caregiver who's unpredictable and critical.
Anxiously attached children are less likely to explore freely and become very distressed when their carer leaves and won't be excited when they return, says Atçeken. "Children in this form of attachment theory are often anxious, unsociable and will react in the form of needing to control all of their interactions."
3. Avoidant
Avoidant types have a positive view of themselves but a negative view of others, according to Wilkie. "This will come from a caregiver who has not met their emotional needs," he explains. This style of attachment is also referred to as anxious-avoidant.
"A child in this pattern will ignore all reactions to the care provider, rarely showing emotion when they leave, or return," Atçeken says. They won't explore or engage with their surrounding environment. "This is usually because the child is unable to express or process feelings such as anxiety and anger, and avoids interaction because it is too much for them to handle," adds Atçeken.
4. Fearful-Avoidant
A fearful-avoidant type – also known as disorganised – has an unstable view of self and others, says Wilkie. This comes from having a carer who is unpredictable or frightening.
"Children who experience this form of attachment are often tense, are often stressed and respond in such a way," says Atçeken.
Before assigning one to yourself, it's a good idea to read further before just deciding on an attachment style and running with it. We recommend starting with Attached(Opens in a new tab) by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller.
How does your attachment style affect your relationships?
Knowing your attachment style can be helpful in identifying reasons for your reactions and behaviour in adult relationships. "We all have baggage from our childhood," Wilkie says. "We cannot change what happened, but we can change how we allow it to affect us in the future."
Securely attached individuals tend to have more long-lasting and satisfying relationships compared with other attachment styles. "They have a positive view of themselves, their attachments and relationships," explains Wilkie.
Anxious types "seek intimacy and approval and may become clinging and over dependent on their partner," says Wilkie. Avoidant types tend to avoid closeness and hide their emotions, opting for independence.
Fearful-avoidant people are "unhappy expressing affection and will be uncomfortable with emotional closeness," says Wilkie.
How does your attachment style impact your sex life?
Sex educator Emily Nagoski delves into attachment theory and its impact on sexuality in her book Come As You Are(Opens in a new tab). Citing a 2012 review of research(Opens in a new tab) on the relationship between attachment style and sex, Nagoski states that securely attached people have been found to have the most satisfying sex lives. "Secure attachers have more positive emotions during sex, more frequent sex, higher levels of arousal and orgasm, and better communication about sex," she writes.
Anxiously attached folks, however, are more likely to have "anxiety-driven 'solace sex.'" What that means is, "using sex as an attachment behaviour — which can make sex intense without making it pleasurable," writes Nagoski. Avoidant attachers, she says, start having sex later in life and typically have sex less frequently. "Avoidant attachers experience sex as less connected with their lives and with their relationships."
How much should we care about attachment theory?
It's beneficial to question and attempt to understand why we are the way we are, and how we tend to relate to others.
It's important to recognise that while we are shaped by our early formative experiences, they do not define us. These experiences are not the only factors that should be considered when analysing our relationships. Trauma, mental health conditions, patterned responses learned in adulthood, neurodivergence, are among myriad other factors that shape our responses and interpersonal relationships.
SEE ALSO: Why it's not as simple as TikTok's dating advice 'if he wanted to, he would'

"We are the product of our experiences; it is what we do with those that decides who we are going to be and how healthy our relationships will be," Wilkie tells me.
"Understanding our upbringing and that of our partner, or prospective partner, is really important as that may have a big impact on who are," he adds. "If our parents were loving and supportive, that gives us a great foundation for a secure relationship."
While it's helpful to understand these aspects of ourselves, it's also important not to pigeonhole oneself. Human beings are capable of change, and once we understand ourselves better, we can learn to exercise more self-compassion in realising where our reactions come from, and taking steps to address any behaviour if we feel we need to.
Quordle today: Here are the answers and hints for August 23
Quordle today: Here are the answers and hints for August 23
Tuesday. So boring. And to make matters worse, today's Quordle is a real pain.
But you can relax now, if you scroll to the bottom of this article you'll see that all four Quordle answers are, well, spoiled for you. If you're just looking for hints, we've got that too. So scroll slowly. Check out our strategy guide. Level up your Quordle skills. Maybe you won't need the answers.
What is Quordle?
Quordle is a five-letter word guessing game similar to Wordle, except each guess applies letters to four words at the same time. You get nine guesses instead of six to correctly guess all four words. It looks like playing four Wordle games at the same time, and that is essentially what it is. But it's not nearly as intimidating as it sounds.
Is Quordle harder than Wordle?
Yes, though not diabolically so.
Where did Quordle come from?
Amid the Wordle boom of late 2021 and early 2022, when everyone was learning to love free, in-browser, once-a-day word guessing games, creator Freddie Meyer says he took inspiration from one of the first big Wordle variations, Dordle — the one where you essentially play two Wordles at once. He took things up a notch, and released Quordle on January 30(Opens in a new tab). Meyer's creation was covered in The Guardian(Opens in a new tab) six days later, and now, according to Meyer, it attracts millions of daily users. Today, Meyer earns modest revenue(Opens in a new tab) from Patreon, where dedicated Quordle fans can donate to keep their favorite puzzle game running.
How is Quordle pronounced?
“Kwordle.” It should rhyme with “Wordle,” and definitely should not be pronounced exactly like "curdle.”
Is Quordle strategy different from Wordle?
Yes and no.
Your starting strategy should be the same as with Wordle. In fact, if you have a favorite Wordle opening word, there’s no reason to change that here. We suggest something rich in vowels, featuring common letters like C, R, and N. But you do you.
After your first guess, however, you’ll notice things getting out of control if you play Quordle exactly like Wordle.
What should I do in Quordle that I don’t do in Wordle?
Solving a Wordle puzzle can famously come down to a series of single letter-change variations. If you’ve narrowed it down to “-IGHT,” you could guess “MIGHT” “NIGHT” “LIGHT” and “SIGHT” and one of those will probably be the solution — though this is also a famous way to end up losing in Wordle, particularly if you play on “hard mode.” In Quordle, however, this sort of single-letter winnowing is a deadly trap, and it hints at the important strategic difference between Wordle and Quordle: In Quordle, you can't afford to waste guesses unless you're eliminating as many letters as possible at all times.
Guessing a completely random word that you already know isn't the solution, just to eliminate three or four possible letters you haven’t tried yet, is thought of as a desperate, latch-ditch move in Wordle. In Quordle, however, it's a normal part of the player's strategic toolset.
Is there a way to get the answer faster?
In my experience Quordle can be a slow game, sometimes dragging out longer than it would take to play Wordle four times. But a sort of blunt-force guessing approach can speed things up. The following strategy also works with Wordle if you only want the solution, and don’t care about having the fewest possible guesses:
Try starting with a series of words that puts all the vowels (including Y) on the board, along with some other common letters. I’ve had good luck with the three words: “NOTES,” “ACRID,” and “LUMPY.” YouTuber DougMansLand(Opens in a new tab) suggests four words: “CANOE,” “SKIRT,” “PLUMB,” and “FUDGY.”
Most of the alphabet is now eliminated, and you’ll only have the ability to make one or two wrong guesses if you use this strategy. But in most cases you’ll have all the information you need to guess the remaining words without any wrong guesses.
If you've already run out of strategy, though, and you're still stumped, here are some hints:
A semi-useful hint about today’s puzzle
Synonyms for all four words are in the following sentence (in no particular order).
If you want to be empress, you need to stop being so impulsive when choosing who can be your friend, and make more monarch-like decisions.
Are there any double or triple letters in today’s Quordle words?
One word has double letters.
Are any rare letters being used in today’s Quordle like Q or Z?
One word starts with the same letter as the title of the game you're currently playing.
What do today’s Quordle words start with?
C, R, Q, and H.
What are the answers for today’s Quordle?
Are you sure you want to know?
There’s still time to turn back.
Okay, you asked for it. The answers are:
1. CRONY
2. REGAL
3. QUEEN
4. HASTY
Jonah Hill sets boundary with followers, asks them not to comment on his body
Jonah Hill sets boundary with followers, asks them not to comment on his body
Your body is no one's business but your own.
Sadly, the internet remains a wasteland of unsolicited comments, abuse, and harassment — often rooted in fatphobia — about people's weight and body shape.
Setting a personal boundary amid this, Hollywood actor Jonah Hill posted a message on Instagram on Thursday, asking his followers not to comment on his body.
"I know you mean well but I kindly ask that you not comment on my body — good or bad I want to politely let you know it's not helpful and doesn't feel good. Much respect," he wrote.

View this post on Instagram

(opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

Hill has previously(Opens in a new tab) spoken(Opens in a new tab) about his relationship with his body during an interview with Ellen DeGeneres in 2018 on The Ellen Show.
"I think everybody has a version of themselves ― I call it a snapshot ― at some point in life, trying to hide from the world," he told Ellen. "Even if you get success or grow up or become good-looking or whatever [...] you kind of carry some part of that with you. For me, it’s definitely being like this 14-year-old kid, being overweight, wanting to fit in with these skaters and hip-hop kids, and just feeling lonely and maybe not understanding my own worth."
SEE ALSO: How to set boundaries at work

Celebrities including Aidy Bryant, SZA, Tess Holliday, and Beanie Feldstein (Hill's sister) posted comments of support under Hill's post.
Boundaries! We love to see them!
Alicia Keys strong commencement speech recognizes the most powerful time to be coming of age
Alicia Keys strong commencement speech recognizes the most powerful time to be coming of age
Alicia Keys has levelled with graduating students who might not feel like celebrating right now, but should honor themselves nonetheless.
Students are graduating across America, amid the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, and after weeks of protests for racial justice and against police brutality, following the police killing of George Floyd, who died after an officer kneeled on his neck for nearly nine minutes.
It is a unique time in history to be finishing school or college, to say the least.
On Sunday, as part of a YouTube Original series of virtual commencement events called Dear Class of 2020(Opens in a new tab), celebrities and public figures including Beyoncé, Michelle Obama, and Keys addressed newly graduated students in heartfelt speeches from home — and they all recognised the significance of what a time it is to be graduating right now.
"Let's be honest, it's been a hard week," Keys began. "A hard week and a hard month and a hard year, and I know right now, it might not feel like there's a lot to celebrate — and that's OK. It's OK to not be OK right now.
"I know so many of you are not thinking about your time at school, you're thinking about what's happening right now in the present. You're thinking about marching and protesting and making sure that your voices are heard in a time that we cannot be silent," she said.

Keys commended the collective action of those who have joined the fight for justice in whichever way they can. "You're taking your heartbreak and your outrage and you're putting into into action and you are showing that your generation is the one that's going to heal this."
She also took a moment to reflect that "the world feels broken" right now, and that this moment of action, outrage, and uprising has been a long time coming. "The pain we're experiencing right now, it's not new. But it feels different this time, right? I think for the first time, all of us, no matter what we look like or where we're from, we can see so clearly what injustice looks like and now we all can choose how to respond.
"But change only happens if all of us educate ourselves, if we hold each other accountable, when we register to vote(Opens in a new tab) in November, when all of us recognise our biases and we find ways to empathise with people that look different from us or seem different from us on the surface. That's the key right there," she said. "So, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the inspiration, for inspiring the world to see our collective humanity."
Keys ended with a call for students to take the moment to celebrate their accomplishments, and to take whatever hat they have and throw it in the air, to honor themselves "in the most powerful time to be coming of age."
It's just under four minutes, but it speaks loud and clear. Mandatory viewing for students who no longer have to answer to anyone telling them something is mandatory viewing.
While you're at it, why not spend a moment with the Schitt's Creek cast thanking your teachers. (There's a performance in it for you, don't roll your eyes.)
It’s easy to get hooked to the Willow breast pump
It’s easy to get hooked to the Willow breast pump
A very small silver lining to COVID-19 isolation is that I don’t have to worry about when and where to pump breast milk — which I have to do several times a day — but the process is still time-consuming and frustrating. When I first started using the Willow Generation 3 breast pump(Opens in a new tab), I’d already worked with a bulkier mechanical pump, Spectra, which is decidedly not mobile and has limited battery before needing to be plugged into the wall. Though I'm pumping regularly and supplementing with formula, I envisioned that the benefits of hands-free pumping would be low, since I was already home and barely leaving the house. I was wrong.
I now pump with Willow often, and it’s boosted my faith in the whole process. For women who are able to breastfeed, the pros might not be quite as great as for women exclusively pumping, but it’s hard to overstate the benefits of mobility, ease, and access for a new mom.
How tricky is Willow’s configuration?
The challenges with Willow are mostly on the front end. It’s not cheap, at $499(Opens in a new tab) for two pumps, 24 plastic bags, and one set of basic parts, although I saw deals on the website and elsewhere. It may or may not be covered by your insurance (you can use your FSA/HSA to pay for it, too). Sizing correctly is critical, since the pump comes with different flange sizes. Getting the wrong size can mean pain and decreased milk production, and it costs either $20(Opens in a new tab) or $30(Opens in a new tab) to replace the relevant part. Willow has a detailed guide(Opens in a new tab) for measuring your nipple.
You'll need to wear a nursing bra or tank top to help hold the pump in place. The Willow team also offer suggestions(Opens in a new tab) on which bras work best; it should be as full-coverage as you can make it, allowing the pump to stay snug and in place against the breast. My favorite pumping and nursing bra(Opens in a new tab) by Motherhood Maternity worked brilliantly. But since YouTube reviews say using Willow can stretch out their bras, I alternate with a couple full-coverage pumping sports bras. The tighter the bra, the more you can do while pumping: you can even pick up and hold your baby when the pump is secure enough.
Don’t try to configure or empty the Willow for the first time when your newborn is screaming for milk — it’s tricky to get all the parts together and aligned against your breast. The device’s Flip to Finish(Opens in a new tab) maneuver, which transfers all your milk into the container when you’re done pumping, takes a couple times to master. I definitely spilled milk all over my kitchen counter the first time I tried it. But the pump comes with detailed written instructions, plus animations and how-to videos on the Willow app (iOS and Android). Should they want it, all customers have access to free one-on-one coaching with someone on the Willow coaching team.
How effective is the Willow?
The real benefit to Willow is once you have the pump on and sucking away — I felt a bit silly, like an Austin Powers fembot. But being able to walk around and do chores instead of being chained to the wall quickly became a feature I couldn’t live without — I’d get through a pumping session without even thinking about it. Previous iterations of the Willow could apparently cause nipple pain, but I played around with the levels on the Generation 3 and found one that suited me fine. The Willow starts in stimulation mode and moves to expression; some women get stuck in stimulation mode(Opens in a new tab), but that’s often an alignment issue, so you might need to take the pump off, readjust, and try again.
Willow experts recommend that the device should be washed after every pumping session, instead of putting pumps in the fridge to delay cleaning the device but avoid bacterial growth. International board certified lactation consultant and Willow’s “Mom Experience Lead” Wendy Wright gave me tips on how to use the Willow properly. Especially in this time of COVID, she recommends washing everything, every time. So that can be a bit of a hassle, although there are only two to four parts. I found the pump functioned better when everything had dried, which can take a bit of time (you can also wash the Willow on the top rack of your dishwasher). You could also buy another set of parts, although that’s an added expense.

The Willow pumps work with Android or iOS apps. Credit: courtesy willow

Another reason to wash every time? If the valve on the milk container gets milk or residue on it, it might malfunction, with the pump incorrectly reading as full and turning off. I started getting wild readings (like 14 ounces in a single session) and had to replace one of the milk containers. But, if something like this happens, contact customer service and you may be under warranty for a free replacement: 90 days for the plastic parts and a year for the pumps.
The mobile app is one of the best parts; since the pumps are pre-labeled left and right, I can measure output per breast (so long as I remember to put the correct pump on the correct side). I can also see how quickly I’m expressing, and over time I’ve figured out the pumping sessions and times that are most and least effective for me.
Even when everything’s working fine, there is sometimes a difference between the stated output on the app and how much I’ve actually pumped. Wright says there can be about a 0.5 oz difference between the amount that the app says you’ve pumped vs. the amount that goes into the bag. Sometimes the difference is due to air that gets into the bag, needing to tighten your bra, or ensuring there’s a proper latch to the flange. Wright recommends keeping your phone nearby and in range for the best Bluetooth connectivity; the Generation 3 has 30 feet of Bluetooth range. It helps to charge often for best accuracy (officially, you can pump five times between charges).
What are Willow’s unique benefits and tradeoffs?
Willow’s main competitor, the Elvie, is smaller, lighter, and quieter, with USB cord chargers and the ability to buy a single pump instead of two. But the Willow allows you to pump into a plastic bag if you choose, which you can label with the date and time and store for later. It’s a nice feature for pumping away from home and preventing contamination—less useful for me since my supply is low, I don’t need to store anything, and I’m home a lot. I’m also trying not to use extra plastic where I can help it, and it’s worth noting, too, that buying more bags is an extra expense that we referenced in our original review of the product.
Instead, I use the Willow milk containers(Opens in a new tab), which are a separate device and an add-on to the basic Willow package. The milk goes into the container, and I pour it directly from the device into a bottle. You get more mobility pumping with a bag, though—you can fully bend over and lie back, and some women even say they can do their nighttime pumping lying in bed.
For women who breastfeed, you can pop a Willow pump on one breast while your baby nurses on the other to save time and fully drain your breasts. Or, if you’re hoping to control feedings, it’s effective to pump a bottle of breastmilk. If you produce a lot, the 4 oz limit per pump might be a challenge (some women say they can get up to 5 with the bag, but the pump will stop once it reads as full). Wright explains that if compressing part of your breast will encourage letdown, you can actually tilt the Willow (if you’re pumping into a bag) to expose that part of your breast. Thus, you can compress it while you pump to encourage production.
So is the Willow worth it?
With a hands-free pump especially, the amount you pump can vary depending on what you’re doing. Wright says that lower production might be due to your increased mobility—but the Willow should compare to any other personal-use pump after the body adjusts to the mechanics of the suction.
”In stressful situations, moms’ milk production can become lower, so if you’re performing heart surgery with your Willow on, you might get less milk. However, with Willow, we designed the pump to encourage mobility and to take the stress out of pumping. I’d recommend that moms use the pump in various situations to see which position they produced the most milk, and then use that as your standard position; from sleeping in the bed to doing yoga.”
This will probably be more relevant in a post-COVID world. Moms may reap the true benefits of the Willow once they head out of the house more often, pumping at their workplace or other semi-public place. I can see myself packing it for family gatherings and work meetings. It might be bulky to carry everything, but the battery life should get me through an entire day away from home—so long as I have access to a cooler or fridge for storage (or a bottle to feed my baby, if she’s with me).
Ultimately, it might seem like an unnecessary expense to get an extra pump if you already have a wall pump, or to exclusively select a hands-free device. But, like so many things, once you use it, it’s easy to get hooked to the benefits.
UPDATE: Jan. 19, 2021, 4:35 p.m. EST This story has been updated to correct that there is a 90-day warranty on plastic parts, not 30.
Liam Payne has TikTok in pain
Liam Payne has TikTok in pain
Only in the year of our lord 2022 could Liam Payne and Kate Bush be trending the same week on TikTok.
All pain, no Liam: Liam Payne internet drama, explained
Just weeks after rumors circulated that former One Direction member Liam Payne allegedly cheated on his on-again, off-again fiancé, Maya Henry, he stripped down his time in the band on Logan Paul's Impaulsive podcast (no, this is not a Mad Lib from 2015), lighting a fire in the Directioner fandom. Clips of the interview and fan reactions were all over TikTok this week.
Key viral moments from Payne's interview include him sharing the many things he dislikes about former bandmate Zayn Malik, revealing that a member of the band threw him up against a wall, and Payne claiming that his solo debut single "Strip That Down" had over a billion streams and outsold his bandmates. In reality, it has 886 million streams on Spotify — less than Harry Styles and Malik's respective debut singles. "I used to be in 1D, now I'm out terrorizing the internet and my former bandmates" are the lyrics right?!
SEE ALSO: 'Harry's House' album leaks are a lesson in fandom politics

While Malik, who infamously left the band ahead of One Direction's indefinite hiatus, has spoken candidly about his qualms with his time in the band, Styles, Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson have gone to great lengths to preserve the fantasy that One Direction was just five lads that were best mates that could someday reunite.
Thanks to Payne, for the first time in years scattered, dormant Directioners had a reason to come together to do what they're best at: defend, theorize, and make incredibly layered jokes about these five men on the internet. The fandom pulled from a decade of content and in jokes to come for Payne's ass and was strangely heartwarming to see.
An example of the type of Payne centric content is @idtpwk's video(Opens in a new tab) that reads, "Me after watching Liam's Logan Paul podcast." The TikTok shows a clip of spoons being manufactured and is set to a sped up version of Malik's track "PILLOWTALK." The spoons are a reference to a fandom famous comment Payne made in 2011(Opens in a new tab) that he has a strange fear of spoons. The TikTok received over a million likes. Another TikTokker, @zaynsside(Opens in a new tab), resurfaced an early clip of the band where Tomlinson shakes everyone's hand except for Payne's.

Payne said he was afraid of spoons in 2011, keep up! Credit: TikTok / idtpwk

It isn't just Directioners that are getting involved. YouTuber Bryce Hall tweeted, "Fuck it I'm down to fight Liam Payne." Payne's ex-fiancé, Maya Henry, posted a TikTok (Opens in a new tab)using a sound that was popular last year where internet personality Tana Mongeau voiced her support for Bryce Hall in his fight with TikTokker Austin Mcbroom. Two of Payne's other ex-girlfriends, Cheryl Lloyd(Opens in a new tab) and Danielle Peazer(Opens in a new tab), also made TikToks. It's a circus and the Directioners are shaking!
These TikToks have layers!
Stranger Things, the internet still loves you!
Phew, now that that's out of the way! Stranger Things Season 4 came out last week and it remains the internet's darling. The new season spawned much discussion, multiple trends and popularized several songs on TikTok.
Thanks to the best scene of the season, where "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)" by Kate Bush saves Max's (Sadie Sink) life from the supervillain of the season Vecna, the 1985 track has been used in over 500,000 TikToks. The other song featured prominently in Season 4, "Pass The Dutchie" by Musical Youth has racked up 11,000 TikToks.
SEE ALSO: Vecna is the viral star of 'Stranger Things' Season 4

In the spirit of Max, TikTokkers are also sharing what songs would save them from Vecna. For example,@soph2day.org posted a video(Opens in a new tab) captioned, "POV vecna is about to possess and kill me but the I Know The End bridge starts playing," in reference to the Phoebe Bridgers song.

What's your Venca song? Credit: TikTok / soph2day.org

That's not the only Vecna inspired trend. When Vecna possesses his victims they begin to have traumatic visions of a grandfather clock. TikTokkers are playing with the grandfather clock imagery and posting videos of grandfather clocks in the wild, clips of a blank wall asking if anyone else seeing the clock, and making clock jokes(Opens in a new tab). For example, @stranger_life.4 posted a sped up video(Opens in a new tab) of people disassembling a grandfather clock with the caption, "POV: People who have grandfather clocks after watching Stranger Things 4."
Finally, it wouldn't be a new season of Stranger Things without some Steve Harrington love. The fan editors are hard at work and posting many a thirst edit. Treat yourself to the "Steve Harrington" tag(Opens in a new tab) after a hard week!
No, astrology is not going anywhere soon
No, astrology is not going anywhere soon
Have we reached Peak Astrology?
There's a myriad of astrology apps crowding Apple and Android's respective app stores. There are the apps that provide screenshot-worthy notifications, like Co—Star and The Pattern. If you want to find love, there are astrology dating apps. I've tried NUiT myself, but there's also the pastel Gen Z-branded Struck(Opens in a new tab). For wisdom from prominent astrologers, try mainstay Susan Miller's Astrology Zone(Opens in a new tab) app or the newer CHANI App(Opens in a new tab) from Chani Nicholas.
In terms of mobile apps, astrology may be an overly saturated market in 2021. Last year saw a dive in the number of astrology-themed apps that were added to Apple and Android's stores. From 2016 through 2019, an average of 265 apps with "astrology" in their title or description were added to Apple's App Store according to data from Adam Blacker, VP of Apptopia. In 2020, only 97 such apps were added. From 2016 to 2019 the average number of apps added to Android was 1,557; that number dropped to 930 in 2020.
So is this a signal that this astro "bubble" of sorts is going to burst? For trend experts and astrologers, the answer is no. Not even close.
Astrology has exploded in the mainstream in the last few years, something that both The Atlantic(Opens in a new tab) and The New Yorker(Opens in a new tab) touched upon in 2018 and 2019. Both cited the era of uncertainty and disillusionment as reasons for this resurgence, at least in part.
And that was before COVID.
The pandemic made uncertainty an every day occurrence in a way we've never seen before. Astrology, as a result, has thrived.
The pandemic made uncertainty an every day occurrence in a way we've never seen before. Astrology, as a result, has thrived. "At a time when uncertain consumers are seeking a more mindful retail experience that engages mind, body and soul, activations around spirituality and all things celestial hold lots of appeal," said Laura Saunter, senior insight strategist at trend forecasting company WGSN(Opens in a new tab).
There's a certain comfort in relinquishing control to planetary beings. Astrology helps explain what we can't — or at least shifts some of the responsibility. Saunter continued, "Increased awareness of events like Mercury in retrograde is also causing a spike in consumers looking to the stars to seek comfort and assurance during the supposedly turbulent period, often finding it an easy way to 'blame' the universe for any kind of mishaps or pitfalls they might face."
We're all looking for answers, especially young people. Jayne Charneski, consumer and audience expert and founder of Front Row Insights(Opens in a new tab), said she sees the astrology boom largely driven by Gen Z as well as millennials to some extent. Members of Gen Z were not only born and raised during a time of increasing economic inequality(Opens in a new tab) and a decline in religion in the U.S.(Opens in a new tab), they're also anxious(Opens in a new tab), to say the least.
"That generation, I've been seeing increasingly turning to anything that really helps them make sense of the world," said Charneski.
Charneski, who has interviewed thousands of young adults, also believes they're a generation that wants the world to be a better place — and that they want to start with themselves.
"Their approach to wellness is so different and so personalized, so tech-oriented," said Charneski. "I think astrology fits into that bucket of wellness."
The overall wellness boon is another factor in this astrology increase. Even before the pandemic, the wellness industry was booming(Opens in a new tab). "Self-care" had already entered our lexicon and been co-opted by brands(Opens in a new tab) wanting to sell us rejuvenation and chill. Now, practically a year into a global crisis? The demand to "buy" wellness(Opens in a new tab) has only grown.
Saunter said the emergence of spirituality — and, as part of that, astrology — is a byproduct of the wellness industry's rise. in line with Charneski's musings on Gen Z, Saunter said today's youth are looking at alternative solutions to overcome their fears in the face of the pandemic, not to mention other political and social strife and the climate crisis.
Millennials get in on the fun, too: "Astrology-themed collections, themed ranges and merchandising categories tap into this newfound interest while also helping burnt-out, time-poor Millennials to make easier, quicker choices that align with spiritual leanings," said Saunter.
Of course, people have been interested in astrology and horoscopes for eons. What's changed is technological innovation. "Interest was always there and technology is just making it spread into other things" like apps, said Charneski.
Astrologer Alice Sparkly Kat(Opens in a new tab), author of the upcoming Postcolonial Astrology(Opens in a new tab), pointed out that astrology apps aren't astrologers. In their work, Kat offers consultations with clients; they haven't seen apps do that. "It's a little bit like counseling, you're interpreting your chart in collaboration," they said. "It's not something I see apps trying to replicate."
The astrology market may be more saturated year after year, but it's not going to go away soon — especially not post-pandemic. We're in a fury of uncertainty now, but that won't exactly change when the COVID vaccine is widely available. If anything, we're hurtling toward even greater unknowns, which could bolster astrology's appeal even more.
In the past year, we've all changed and been challenged. We've seen the shadows in ourselves and others, and no one can predict what the other side of the pandemic looks like. "No one knows what life is like here on out," said Charneski. "We're all emerging from this as different people."
This leads Charneski to believe that astrology is here to stay.
Kat compared the astrology community to fandoms, or fan communities. Sometimes interest wanes, other times it holds constant. Just as in fandoms, what happens to astrology depends on the people within the community. "Whether astrology is going to stay as a subculture just depends on the community," they said. Like Charneski, however, they don't think interest will wane.
SEE ALSO: How online dating impacts people with anxiety (and how to deal with it)

Saunter, however, fears we currently risk reaching "Peak Zodiac," citing brands selling perfume horoscopes and telling consumers what to buy during Mercury retrograde as examples.
The future of astrology, Saunter predicts, will converge with the trend of DNA personalization. DNA testing is already impacting industries(Opens in a new tab) such as beauty, food, and hospitality, so it's not a stretch that it'll permeate others. "The rise of data-driven intimacy, coupled with growing interest in health and extending lifespans, will see a rise in demand for curated selections based on DNA profiles, extending outside of diets to beauty, skincare, wellness and even fashion," said Saunter.
Regardless of whether a genetic element of astrology comes to fruition, it's safe to say the practice itself isn't going anywhere. While developers may have cooled off on generating more apps, outside forces like the pandemic have practically assured astrology will remain popular. If you don't believe me, you can check with the stars.
9 horny emoji from iOS 14.2 to upgrade your sexting game (and 1 to avoid)
9 horny emoji from iOS 14.2 to upgrade your sexting game (and 1 to avoid)
It's that time of year again.
It's no coincidence that the emoji update tends to land right in the middle of Scorpio season, the thirstiest time of year. Everyone knows that there is nothing you can type that conveys the timbre of your thirst like a well-selected emoji. (Or a poorly selected one, for that matter, but let's not talk about all the ones with tongues while we're trying to keep things sexy.)
So let us give thanks for the newest crop(Opens in a new tab) of tiny pictures that mean things, because some of the things that they can mean are sex things! With a little imagination, almost any emoji can have horny overtones — but these are the contenders who deserve a shot next time you're shooting yours.
Everyone in a tux

woman in tux emoji Credit: emojipedia

Literally everyone looks hot in a tuxedo. Girls, guys, people who are neither of those things. Everyone. And with the updated, gender-inclusive tux emoji, that's who can wear one in Emojiland. Text this to me and I'm on my way to take it off you.
"Pinched fingers"

pinch fisting emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

While this will certainly serve its purpose in a number of "chef's kiss" and Italian-accented-emphasis formulations, this is also the official emoji of fisting(Opens in a new tab). I don't make the rules. I'm just letting you know.
People hugging

people hugging emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

There's no aphrodisiac like a social taboo, and hugging has been very much off the cards for most of this year. Look at that arm placement. That looks like a REALLY good hug. I'm seeing solid chest pressing, and there are only three visible hands. WHERE IS THE FOURTH HAND? I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
Plus, these blue-skinned people are clearly naked. This is absolute filth. Shocked it got past the Unicode Consortium.
This saucy seal

seal emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

"Oh, hello! I didn't see you there. I was just hanging out naked, as seals do, one coy flipper draped artfully across my curves, my mischievous expression both open and yet suggestive of a delicious secret. Anyway. u up?"
Fondue

fondue emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

Two forks, one cup. It's well past time for fondue to become sexy again, but to me, there's already nothing sexier than a big bowl of liquid cheese.
Also, when else are you going to use this?
Wood

wood emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

If you need me to explain this to you, you are too young to be sexting.
Rock

rock emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

Again, not hard to figure out.
Knot

knot rope emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

One for the shibari enthusiasts out there — or anyone looking to dabble in a little rope play.
Bucket

bucket emoji Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

We already have a mop, and we all know what those are for.
Beaver

BEAVER EMOJI Credit: EMOJIPEDIA

Look, you can. But you shouldn't.
Chrissy Teigen promised $200,000 for bail funds after Trumps MAGA night tweet
Chrissy Teigen promised $200,000 for bail funds after Trumps MAGA night tweet
Chrissy Teigen once again proved why she’s the unofficial queen of Twitter.
When Donald Trump responded to nationwide protests against police brutality and the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor by tweeting that it was "MAGA NIGHT AT THE WHITE HOUSE," no one quite understood what he meant. The tweet falsely stated that protests around the White House had "little to do with the memory of George Floyd" and made less sense from there.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

One of the Twitter users confused at what "MAGA NIGHT" meant was Chrissy Teigen, who didn't bother to parse Trump's tweet before committing to donate $100,000 to bail funds for protesters arrested in the course of exercising their rights.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

Another Twitter user, who has since deleted his account, must have said something to egg Teigen on, because shortly after tweeting her pledge, she quote-tweeted his currently unavailable response with a decision to double her donation.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

After posting her pledge to donate, Teigen tweeted that her mentions were a "maga shit show" but appeared unbothered by all accounts. Several other Twitter users attempted to criticize her for supporting the protests, but if there is one unspoken rule of Twitter (besides never becoming the main character), it's don't mess with Chrissy Teigen.
Seriously, she has just shy of 13 million followers, zero filter, and most importantly the time today.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

After smacking down a few of her louder MAGA-aligned critics, some of whom Teigen claimed were bots, Teigen sent a final message of support to those protesting.
Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab)

Teigen has not posted confirmation of her donation yet, but she and her husband John Legend have a history of donating in support of social justice organizations like the ACLU, Time's Up, and a North Carolina woman's remaining beauty school tuition.